The Top 5 Cravings in Super Mario RPG

Today’s prompt is craving, and on an impulse I’m going to fulfill a semi-request brought on in a question from my friend Tahni J. Nikitins. She asked me if I was ever going to create a list post for my blog. Now, lists aren’t really something I want to do, but I did say if I ever tried one, it would be in my own way and 100% subjective.

So with all that in mind, I’m going to introduce the topic of craving in relation to one of my favorite games. Super Mario RPG is a game that’s filled with people who want something, need something, have a hankering to just gorge on SOMETHING. Therefore, I’ve composed a little list: the Top 5  Cravings of Super Mario RPG. Enjoy!


5. Jonathan Jones Likes to Keep Currant

Jonny

“Woah! It’s all over.” (source)

Jonathan Jones is the scourge of the sea, but even as salty a shark as he had a sweet side. Well, it’s more tart than sweet, but the point is that ol’ Jones has a craving for something other than power and plunder: currant juice!

jonathanjones

What is a Mario? A miserable little pile of mushrooms! (source)

In Dr. Topper’s trivia challenge, a puzzle in Smithy-occupied Bowser’s castle, Mario is asked what Jonathan Jones’ favorite drink is. Although there are other hints in the game, we learn the greatest lesson of all here: always go with the pun!


4. Punchinello is Doing It for the Fame

Punchinello.gif

James Bomb he is not! (source)

The name’s ‘nello! PUNCHINELLO! And this bizarre, bombastic fellow stands between Mario’s party and the 3rd star piece. But why?

img-19.JPG

He bombed at the box office. (source)

Well it turns out Punchinello has all kinds of star power on his mind, as he really wants to leave a big, explosive mark on the world. And hey, taking out THE Super Mario in the process couldn’t hurt his prestige either! Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t really seen outside of Super Mario RPG, or the Moleville Mines, for that matter. So his efforts kind of blew up in his face.


3. The Bellhop Has a Family to Feed

bellhop1

When I say “hop” you say “how high?” (source)

In Marrymore, Mario has the option to drop some serious coinage to stay in the fanciest hotel suite in the world. It comes with all kinds of amenities, like a shower, fine robes, room service, and more! All of which is maintained and made available to you by the industrious toad bellhop assigned to see to your every whim.

bellhop2

Here’s a tip: GET A BETTER JOB!

Of course, you can stiff the poor servant and, if you can withstand his icy passive aggression, make it out with at least some coins in your wallet. I just hope if you’re the cheapskate type you don’t ever wind up in a similar situation, because you know how karma can be…

bellhop3.gif

Karma’s gonna pay you back in spades, kid! (source)


2. Valentina Wants to Be Queen of Back Pain

Valentina

Part sex symbol, part muppet. (source)

Valentina’s lust for power cannot be ignored. She’s so committed to making herself queen of Nimbus Land, she’s spent a good chunk of her life preparing to undermine the royal family and snatch the crown. She did away with the prince (temporarily), convinced the public that the king was on his death bed, and “found” Prince Mallow in the form of her bird henchman Dodo.

Valentina’s power craving was so great that she came out of nowhere and nearly took over an entire kingdom for good. And all while trying to stay upright with some of the most cartoonish boobs imaginable!

valentina-super-mario-rpg

Go off and play kids, mommy and her bird hair are drunk! (source


1. Belome Craves Sweet Things! …and Sour Things… and Bitter Things…

Belome_SMRPG.png

“Gotta yummy in my tummy!”

And of course, number 1 on this list is the king of crave himself – The dog-like tongue with eyes, Belome! Belome’s whole gimmick is that he eats party members. At first he limits himself to the fluffy confection that is Mallow, but later on he opens his heart and his stomach to the entire party!

belome.jpg

Yes he’s going for Mallow again, but to be fair he finds Mario sour, and Bowser kind of repulsive. (source)

A true glutton, Belome spends all his time thinking about either eating or sleeping (and presumably dreaming about food.) Belome’s focus on food is so all-consuming that even statues of him want to snack on your inventory.

belome2.JPG

The way to hidden treasure rooms is through his stomach. (source)

Indeed, in a game where everyone seems to crave something, and desires have an entire hill dedicated to them, Belome is the biggest beggar of them all.

I hope you enjoyed my little foray into list-dom. It’s not a place I particularly enjoy being, but hey, it’s just for fun, right? Share with me your thoughts, or tell me what topics you crave.

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